my recruiter is so overbearing and obnoxious that I’m thinking of withdrawing my application — Ask a Manager


It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

Remember the letter-writer who whose recruiter was overbearing that she was thinking of withdrawing her application? Here’s the update.

After the recruiter said I needed to be sure about my job, I sent her an email, “It’s sounding like maybe ABC Company isn’t the right culture fit for me based on your interview prep and how reluctant they may be to reschedule an interview. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time any further so will take myself out of the running for this position.”

I got the following email back: “I apologize if I made it seem like ABC Co would not reschedule your interview, as that is not the case. I just know what it takes for them to reschedule an interview, so I just wanted to make sure we were being conscientious of their time. They were happy to reschedule, and have in fact already sent over an alternative time.

I think things are being misconstrued over email, so I apologize if at any point I made you feel like I wasn’t being understanding. That was never my intent.”

I decided to move forward with the job interview. I made sure to ask a lot of questions about the company culture and flex time as those were important to me. As mentioned above, I accepted the job. She tried to stay involved in my negotiation process, but I focused on working with the HR person at the company. Using your tips (and podcast), I successfully negotiated for the first time ever, for a larger salary AND signing bonus!

The recruiter wanted to have a phone call on my first day to “make sure everything goes well.” I never answered a call from her again. She has asked me for more referrals for my company, but my company pays a better referral bonus directly.

Also, after I was here for a few months, I sat down with our HR team to give them feedback on this recruiter. Apparently this agency has made a habit of contacting hiring managers directly (which they aren’t supposed to do), and she was absolutely appalled by what she heard about my experience. I’m not sure if we’ll be continuing our contract or not.



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